16 Dec

I have this intense urge to write today. I’m not entirely sure what about, I just feel a need to bring forth from my mind, words. Usually, I would write in my journal, but as of late I find it difficult to move my writing hand as fast as the words escape my conscious. This means I stop writing.

Typing is so fluid for me, so effortless. I feel connected with the keyboard, like my fingers move of their own accord in complete sync with the little black keys. The clicking sound the keys make and my finger tips tap them is soothing. Completely soothing to my mind and to my arms.

2011 is nearly over. This thought has visited me daily in the last week. 2011 was the best year of my life. I learned so much about myself and the about the world that surrounds me. I went into 2011 with my eyes closed, and will leave it with my eyes wide open. I have gained so much this year (including some weight). I have lost so much this year too (including some weight!).

I am 31, but feel much older than my years. This is in complete contrast to how I have felt in the past, always claiming that I feel like a 15 year old, and that I always will feel like a 15 year old. I already miss my naievity. Very much. But I would never go back. While being naieve is somewhat easier to live with, I much prefer the freedom that has come with this year.

I never thought I would be where I am. I may not be famous or talented or accomplished or successful, but I am very proud of who I am today. I am proud of who I became in the year of 2011. I am proud of what I have overcome and how I overcame it. I am proud of me.

I look forward to 2012 and what it feels like throwing at me. I am ready.


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