What a week!

19 Jan

I have stuck to the 1000 calorie diet all week, with only a couple of little stuff-ups. I have never felt so hungry in my life. My mouth seems dry and I feel empty. My stomch feels so … well empty!

I have cried so much this week. I feel such a loss. I feel like I am mourning! I feel sad. SO very very sad. Where before I used to eat my feelings, I have had to actualy feel them without stuffing them away with food. It hurts!

I have been so nervous about the surgery (4 days away now!). My heart has been in my throat for days. I am sensitive to everything. I feel like everyone is offending me. I feel like I can’t stand to be around other people. I just want to sit by myelf and focus on chew, chew chewing my food. Its crazy.

I met a woman today who also has the band. SHe has re-gained her weight, but has re-committed to losing again. Meeting her has been the best thing I have done in a while. She seems to be an amazing person. She put me at ease. I don’t think she knows just what she has done for me!

So yes, Tuesday is my surgery. I am so very nervous but really quite excited. I can’t wait to see what this year holds for me.

🙂 I am now back to 126kg! I will NEVER EVER see 130kg EVER again.

I promise.

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2 Responses to “What a week!”

  1. Rosemary January 22, 2012 at 5:41 am #

    Stay strong & focused and be proud of yourself for taking a steps towards your commitment in becoming a healthier person. It will be worth it. You deserve to be happy with yourself with the precious amount of time we have on this earth. Good luck with your surgery 🙂

  2. Year2Band January 22, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    Thank you so much for your words Rosemary. Thank you for taking the time to leave your comment! Very appreciated 🙂

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