The most difficult thing about having the Band

22 Mar

The most difficult thing abour having the band has to do with other people knowing that I have it. It is not because I am ashamed (although I have felt that way at times), it has more to do with other people’s expectations.

The only people that know about my band are my immediate family. Them and whomever my mother-in-law has told, and I suspect she has told a fair few.

I haven’t seen certain family members in a while. Two of them I haven’t seen since having the surgery. While I have lost weight, it is not overly noticable. So when I see my family and they look me up and down expecting me to have melted away in a month, its very difficult. They ask me how I’m going with ‘that thing around the stomach’. But it doesn’t matter what I say, I can see them thinking that it looks like I’m not doing too well.

My dad keeps asking me when I’m going to lose weight. When I tell him how much I have lost, he asks me if I’m sure. I tell him to be patient and to give me some time, and with a nod of his head he says, “Yes, we’ll see won’t we”.

It’s so bloody difficult. I wish I had not told another soul. I only told my family because I thought there was a chance I would die during surgery. That is the whole truth. It sounds so stupid now. I just wish I knew then what I know now. No one apart from my husband would know.

Like I said, I am not ashamed. I have felt ashamed at times but its just the pressure that gets me down. No one knows what its like to be me. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone. I just wish I could walk around with a t-shirt that has my weekly loss on it, so that … well I don’t know. Why does it affect me so much? Why does it bother me? Why do I care what anyone thinks?

That’s just how it is. I can’t explain it and I can’t change it.

I just wish people weren’t so ignorant about weightloss surgery. I still have to do the work, and its bloody hard. I’m not going to lose 60kg in a week or a month (or a year even, although that is possible). How many times do I have to tell that to my family before they begin to understand?

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2 Responses to “The most difficult thing about having the Band”

  1. Ronnie March 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    When they ask tell them you’d rather not discuss it… that’s what I do when I feel uncomfortable with the questioning. People realllly need to learn boundaries.

    • Year2Band March 23, 2012 at 11:17 pm #

      Well I could do that I suppose. But a part of me wants to prove to them that I am losing weight and that the surgery is working. Although all of that is true, my wanting to prove it to them is insane. I don’t need to prove anything. But I really want to!

      I am a little crazy I suppose! 🙂

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